I Am

I am the little boy my parents never had.
The little girl who fir in with the boys; nasty, dirty, muddy boys.
The girl who was supposed to be Joshua Alexander, not Emma Grace.
The girl who saw the world as her playground.
Constantly running, climbing, jumping..until I fell to the ground completely out.
The girl they called, “Goes till she can’t go anymore..till she drops!”
I am the girl who hates ribbons and bows and would tear them off my body if they were ever in sight.
I am the girl who played on the soccer field with the boys during recess.
The one who truly believed there were no differences between little boys and girls.
The one who knew I was just as good, if not better than the boys in P.E. class.
I am the girl who is covered in bumps and bruises, shiners like no other girl could handle.

I am the girl fascinated with the human body.

The girl who was hit in the head with a driver golf club and decided to look for the chunk of my
head on the ground instead of crying.
Being called the “Tough cookie” that could handle anything!
The girl who has had more than one near dead experience: falling on scissors, or swallowing an
umbrella hook, and making her who she is today.

Tough, strong, independent.
I am the girl who as she grew up was focused on school and making good grades in hoping I
would never disappoint my parents.

I am determined and driven.

I am the girl in school who feels alone because of her beliefs, but never falls short of them.
The girl who keeps her head up strong, but falls when no one is looking.
The girl who seems to have it ‘All figured out,’ but secretly doesn’t know how to make it through
the rest of the day without shedding a tear.
I am the girl who was always best on her team, but as time caught up with her she fell back
behind.
The one who is told, “You have so much potential,” then never seems to reach it.
The one who can be very hard on herself and never see the good in what I can do.
I am the girl who has two, incredibly loving, parents.
Who always seem to know how to turn my thoughts of myself back around, taking my
‘potential’ and help me make it a reality.

I am a big blue eyed, frizzy haired brunette.

A girl who believes she is a woman.
A woman who is fully taking on responsibilities, whether she is ready to take them on or not.
Tossing around hours of the day as if they have no meaning.
Following such a planned schedule, feeling suffocated.
Wishing the woman she is was still that little girl.
Work, school, soccer, church, boyfriend, leadership roles...the list never seems to have an ending.
I am the woman who is smart, but doesn’t seem to have enough mental capacity to keep my life
from falling down around me.

I am a nervous tired wreck.
I am a woman who needs breaks in her life to feel free; to have the time to breathe...to appreciate
the little things in life.

Just like that little tom-boy she used to be who appreciated things.
The smell of the fresh air, the cool breeze, the chats that have no meaning except the use of
oxygen.

The cut elbows, the bruised shins, the scabbed over memories.
The laughter that kills your gut, the smell of grandmas house, and the touch of someone who
loves you.
The people, places, things, smells, memories that have shaped everything in her life.
The happiness, sadness, faithfulness, insecurities, and love are what make the little tom-boy the
woman she is today.

The woman who can live another day.